Cocky vs confident

When I'm confident, I make new friends and connections. When I'm cocky, I dump my drink in my crotch.

Preston the creeper

I have a good friend named Preston.*  He has a boyfriend that he's pretty keen on, a car he hates and a heart of gold.  He likes to have a good time on the weekends and we go out together at least once a month.  He's a good looking guy and loves to flirt.  Preston is a tease and a creeper.

When guys are overly persistent, he'll give them his phone number.  They're guys he usually wouldn't have any interest in if he was single, which he doesn't deny if asked, and hilarity always ensues. 

In November, this guy wouldn't leave him alone one night at a club.  Homeboy asked for his number 3 times before I saw the devilish grin and knew what was going on.  Preston took homeboy's phone and added a number.  Homeboy just got "creeped."

Flash Forward to a week ago.  Preston's phone has been blowing up daily and homeboy is really pressuring a meet up but just can't seem to make it work before he goes back to college and it isn't fun anymore.  Homeboy told P he was deaf about a week ago and was lip reading when they met. This is the actual conversation:

H: Are you willing to wait and do your own thing til I come back home after I graduate in May?
P: Do my own thing?  It's not like we're dating or anything.
H: Whoa, dude i never implied like that. dont assume.
P: but I love u. I hoped you'd say you love me too.
H:  Um Okay.. you lost me there.  What is going on?  I mean, honestly, I don't know where we stand.
P: I just wanted to get a little place with you.  We could live on love.
H: Don't take it personally but are you fucking around?  Plus we barely know each other very well.
P: We spend so much time texting though.  I feel a connection.
H: Yeah I have to agree.  i do feel there is a connection, but i don't want to make hasty decisions/choices.
P:I just want to hold you and make love to you til you can't take anymore.  And i want you to know I'll always take care of you.  I just wish you'd send me more pictures.  I've printed them all and have them on my closet wall. 
H: Dude... I'm sorry but what you did.. that thing with picturess?  That is a turn off.  If you really want to make it work, you are going to take it down and throw it away.
P:  I can't. It's how i feel close to you when you're away.  I love all of them so much.
H: Or better, tear it to little pieces and draim them in the toilet.
P:  I'm not going to. I wish you loved yourself like I do.
H: I'm only a text away.
P:  but it's not enoguh.
H:  Um ok just forget it. it's clearly not going to work. 
NEXT DAY
H:If you can't respect what I want, then walk away.
P: What!?Why are you doing this to us?!  I've been insane since you told me you didn't want to talk to me yesterday.
H: US?  There has never been "us!"  OMG
P: What?  I thought you loved me too. You text me so much
H: Did I ever say that "L" work to you, ever?  no.  From now on, you are not going to hear from me anymore.
P:  Oh no!  I'll miss you.

I've seen the conversation (hell, i just typed the whole thing.)  Would you do the same if someone wouldn't get the hint?

*Names have been changed to protect the creeper.

Keeping it together

This morning, I saw an article about the children of Newtown, Conneticut, singing a song for their lost friends.  I didn't get half way through the video before I started crying.  As much as I say I dislike other people's kids, this still kills me

You can buy it on iTunes or Amazon and the money goes to their community.  Below is the video that I tried to watch.

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/children-record-song-benefit-newtown-conn-causes-131022810--abc-news-topstories.html

Here is the link to purchase from Amazon: 

http://www.amazon.com/Sandy-Hook-Somewhere-Rainbow-Michaelson/dp/B00B0NU0UQ/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1358354888&sr=8-2&keywords=over+the+rainbow+newtown

~D

Sitting alone at the bar...

I have a lot of shy friends. They won't take the chance of approaching someone new for fear of rejection. I think rejection is the worst reason not to approach someone you're interested in. You'll never know what could have been If you don't extend the "peace token of your choice."

Guys, straight OR gay, seem to be the worst offenders. They decide that waiting for a person they're interested in to approach them is the best approach. It doesn't work... ever. You'll spend ten minutes watching them in full creeper mode and then... they walk away and you never speak to them and probably never see them again. And it's not usually because they never run into you again; it's because you stared for 10 minutes without speaking. Hello creepy stalker fellow.

People should try the "Hi, can I buy you a drink" more often. It works on me and I'm wearing a wedding band. If you offer to buy me a drink, I'll take it. I'll order it myself, have the bartender hand it to me so I don't get drugged (thanks for that lesson, Compound,) and spend a few minutes talking to you while YOU pay for it. You've got my attention, even if it's for just a moment.

It took me a long time to approach strangers but I'm pro now. Being forced to speak to strangers was terrifying at first but with a little practice and a realization that not everyone will bite, you learn to stop dreading the "thanks but no thanks" and start enjoying the people who do accept.

Of course, my "promo boy" gig helped.

And for god's sake, if someone's sitting alone, say hello! No one really likes being alone at the bar.

The big bad wolf

Today I received a text from a CLOSE friend's mom asking for my blog URL. She said she must have missed it when I signed off and I happily gave it to her and asked how she'd been. She told me about how her youngest daughter was being bullied online for being gay.

It got me thinking about when I was in high school and the bullying I was subjected to. The car chalk "fag" on the windows and the punctured tires, the car chases and the fat dude reaching across the inside of my car in an attempt to punch me. These things sucked but it made me who I am today and I'm thankful for that.

High school Dusty and 2013 Dusty have very little in common. 2013 Dusty is confident, if not cocky, in every aspect of my life. HS Dusty pretended to be and had his feeling hurt a lot because he didn't understand that being mean was how people took his power to stand up for himself.

HS wanted everyone to like him. 2013 knows you aren't successful if you don't make a few enemies and that you're doing things right if people are a little jealous.

HS Dusty didn't have any gay friends that weren't struggling just like he was. 2013 puts it out there that if you or your kid is having a hard time because of their sexuality or just bullying in general, to send them in his direction because no one should have to go through this alone and sometimes parents don't have all of the right answers, no matter how hard they try.

Life isn't going to be easy. Utilize all of the resources you're given. Don't allow yourself to settle for less in yourself. And most of all, reach out to the people who say they want to help or BE the person asking how they can help. We're all in this together.

~High School AND 2013 Dusty

Please remember me.

Giving up my facebook has improved my communication skills. I call people when I can now because text is impersonal to me. And yeah, I hear about how I should just text from the people who hate talking on the phone and I don't care. If you don't want to talk to me, don't answer the phone.

Technology has enabled us to do so much more than we could ever do before. I can video chat with my dad when I've got wiring questions or just miss seeing him. I can find out how old a pop star is when someone asks in a bar. I find new recipes to try. But it also makes me lazy in my relationships.

I thought knowing what all of my friends were up to was awesome at first... until there was nothing to talk about when I'd meet up with them. I don't want to live in a virtual world where human interaction is obsolete; it's not warm and inviting to me.

Because I don't call people just because I'm bored, getting a phone call means way more to me than a text or Vox because you have to allot time to speak. It also means more when I get a phone call inviting me to do something because it means you care enough to go the extra step. I just about always show when I get a phone call with no prior plans because I want to show I'm grateful for the thought.

Please don't forget about me when the spring and summer events start up.

~D

Busy busy busy

So I said I'd write daily... And I meant it... And then the kitchen remodel started. It's been a crazy week but it's just about over and then I'll write. I have a huge list of topics I'm going to cover

Thanks to the friends who have called or text me about why I wasn't posting. People say no one reads blogs anymore.... But maybe I'll change that.

~D

The Break-Up (Facebook)

Well, I've gone two days without posting anything to Facebook.  My account hasn't been deleted because I realize that I wouldn't be able to call anyone because my phone book in sync'd with Facebook.  I have made it so that people cannot post to my wall, my phone doesn't notify me of anything and I would like to go back one more time to update my profile picture.  There's a special picture I'd like to leave up while I'm gone.

I don't feel disconnected from the world.  I had a small get together for New Years Eve with a few of my closer pals.  It was a great time with a lot of junk food :-D

I think I was such a Facebook Junkie because it was an easy distraction.  Didn't feel like waiting in line at the grocery store alone?  Just jump on and see what your "friends" are up to.  Get cut off in traffic?  Post about it on Facebook.  Hell, leave a license plate number and description of the car.

Eventually I hated so many of my friends.  They were either very outspoken about politics (both sides,) posting baby pictures like anyone gave a fuck or were just Negative Nancy.  I don't need any of that.  If I cared that much, I'd ask.

I've started texting and calling people more often.  Someone asked for live updates via text.  I hope he knows what he's in for.

I know this means I won't be "in the know" about get together and events, but if it's that important, I hope someone thinks to call me.  I have other friends that aren't on Facebook.  But he's important enough that he gets a personal call or text when events are planned because I enjoy him being there.

I've decided this isn't going to be a journal.  It's going to be an actual blog.  I'ma write about topics in hopes that my writing gets better and people become interested enough to have conversations in the comments.  I had 108 hits since I put the page up.  Maybe someone will say hello ;-)

Have a good night.

DAL$